Barry went to Haverford College, where he was an English major and wrote lengthy scholarly papers filled with sentences that even he did not understand. He graduated in 1969 and eventually got a job with a newspaper named -- this is a real name -- the “Daily Local News,” in West Chester, Pa., where he covered a series of incredibly dull municipal meetings, some of which are still going on.

  Columist in 1975 Barry joined Burger Associates, a consulting firm that teaches affective writing to businesspersons. He spent nearly eight years trying to get various businesspersons to for God's sake stop writing things like “Enclosed please find the enclosed enclosure,” but he eventually realized that it was hopeless. So in 1983 he took a job at The Miami Herald, and he has been there ever since, although he never answers the phone. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for commentary, pending a recount. His column appears in several hundred newspapers, yet another indication of the worsening drug crisis.

In 1996 Barry married Michelle Kaufman, a sportswriter for the Miami Herald. He has a son, Robert, who recently got his driver's license, which should make everybody nervous. Barry has written a number of short but harmful books, including “Babies and Other Hazards of Sex” and “Dave Barry Slept Here: A Sort of History of the United States.” His books, including “Dave Barry in Cyberspace,” “Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys” and “Dave Barry Turns 40,” have been hailed by the critics as “containing a tremendous amount of white space.” The CBS television series “Daves World” is based on two of Barry's books. Also, he set fire to a pair of underpants with a Barbie doll on national television and owns a guitar that was once played by Bruce Springsteen.

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